If you’d told me a few years ago that navigating my career and my love life would end up looking eerily similar, I probably would have laughed. Or, let’s be real, I would have rolled my eyes so hard I’d be seeing my own brain. After all, I’d taken a solid four-year hiatus from dating to focus on myself and to heal. Losing my brother was a seismic shift in my life, and I needed time to figure out who I was again without all the emotional noise. But life has a way of throwing you curveballs, and while I was busy building my career in marketing, love decided to sneak up on me—from 3,000 miles away, no less.
So, I got to thinking: there’s a lot of overlap between managing a career and navigating a love life. Here’s what I’ve learned about the job hunt, the dating game, and why finding “the one” (whether it’s a job or a person) might just be a little bit of both.
The Job Interview = The First Date
Let’s start with the basics. The job interview and the first date: two scenarios that will make even the most confident among us question every life choice up to that point. You spend hours prepping, rehearsing your lines, hoping you don’t overshare or accidentally spill something on yourself. You’ve done your research on their company—or their profile (yes, I mean the LinkedIn stalk). And you just know you’ve got this.
But no matter how prepared you are, the question “So, tell me about yourself?” still makes you sweat. Do you keep it professional, or do you sprinkle in a little humor? And just like that first date, you leave wondering, “Did they like me? Was I too much? Did I come off as desperate when I said I’m really looking for long-term commitment?”
Ghosting Happens in Both Worlds
Oh, ghosting. The bane of modern romance and the job hunt. You meet for a coffee (or have that second-round interview), things seem to go well, and then…radio silence. Suddenly, you’re questioning every little thing you said and analyzing the follow-up email you sent three days later. (Was the exclamation point too enthusiastic? Should I have added a second “thank you”?)
Whether it’s the dream job or the person you thought might be the one, sometimes they just vanish, and you’re left wondering why. And here’s the harsh truth: sometimes, scratch that… most of the time, it’s not about you. Sometimes, they’re just not ready, or they found a better fit. It sucks, but hey, their loss, right? Besides, you’ve got better things to do—like figuring out how to budget for that fancy bone broth habit.
Rejection Teaches You (Painful but Important) Lessons
The parallels between rejection in your career and love life are uncanny. You apply for a job or put yourself out there with someone new, and when it doesn’t work out, you’re left with a dent in your ego and a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that definitely wasn’t part of your meal plan. But rejection, painful as it is, has a sneaky way of teaching you things.
For example, that company that turned you down? They probably saved you from a nightmare manager. And that person who said, “It’s not you, it’s me”? Well, they probably weren’t lying. It was them, and thank goodness you dodged that bullet. You learn what you’re willing to compromise on and what you absolutely need—whether it’s remote work flexibility or a partner who doesn’t think texting back is optional.
The “I’m Just Focusing on My Career” Phase
After losing my brother, I took a break from dating. A long one. And honestly, I needed it. For four years, I poured myself into my career, focused on mastering my skills as a leader, building out lifecycle comms, planned product launches like they were going out of style, and genuinely thrived in my own space. It was like my romantic hiatus coincided with a “self-improvement montage” straight out of a movie. Except with fewer cute montages, a significant amount of therapy and more days spent in a range of colours of market dresses from Wilfred trying to nail a brief.
And honestly? That time was invaluable. It’s where I learned to love my own company again and built a life that felt whole without a partner. Because, like any good product marketer knows, before you sell anything to anyone else, you need to believe in it yourself. And I had to become my own biggest cheerleader before I could even think about letting someone else in.
And Then, When You Least Expect It…
But, just when I thought I had it all figured out, my person found me. And surprise—it was 3,000 miles away, on the other side of the continent. (No, seriously, the irony is not lost on me.) While I was busy strategizing campaigns and perfecting my LinkedIn profile, the universe had other plans. Suddenly, one swipe right on bumble premium, I found myself navigating time zones and figuring out if “good morning” texts made sense at 6am EST (12pm CET).
And just like landing that dream job you didn’t think you’d even get an interview for, love showed up when I wasn’t actively looking. It didn’t come with a 5-year plan or a polished resume. It came with unexpected FaceTime calls, virtual date nights, and a lot of aeroplan points. It’s messy and imperfect, but it feels right—like a job that challenges you in all the best ways but still makes you excited to wake up in the morning.
You Can’t Force the Right Fit—In Work or Love
Here’s the big lesson: Whether it’s a career or a relationship, you can’t force a fit that isn’t there. You deserve a role (and a person) that makes you feel valued, seen, and excited about the future. If you’re stuck in a job that feels like a bad first date—or a relationship that feels like a never-ending performance review mixed in with a regular dose of “Sunday Scaries” —maybe it’s time to reconsider.
Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve held onto roles that didn’t appreciate my skills, just like I’ve held onto people who couldn’t meet me where I was. But I’ve also learned that the right fit doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be willing to grow with you.
So, if you’re out there wondering if you’ll ever find your dream job or your dream person, take it from someone who’s been through both. Focus on building the life you want, take breaks when you need to, and don’t settle for anything less than what makes your heart—or your LinkedIn profile—sing. Because at the end of the day, whether you’re navigating your career or love life, it’s all about finding that sweet spot between ambition and patience, growth and gratitude, and knowing when to swipe left or hit “apply.”
Have you found any surprising parallels between dating and job hunting? Share your stories in the comments below—because let’s face it, we could all use a good laugh (or cry) about those times we tried a little too hard.
Dresses every damn day 