If you’ve ever felt like you were living life on a treadmill, cranked up to a speed that’s just a little too fast girl, you are not alone. For years, I thought the answer to feeling stuck was to sprint faster, work harder, and answer emails at lightning speed. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. But as someone who once took a solid four-year break from the dating world to heal, re-center, and rediscover my own groove, I’ve learned that sometimes, the best way to move forward is to hit pause. Because, as it turns out, reinvention isn’t always about dramatic changes it’s often found in those small, daily habits that give us space to breathe, reflect, and actually enjoy this chaotic ride called life.

So, whether you’re navigating a layoff, grief, the end of a relationship, or just trying to figure out how to thrive in a city like Toronto (where a condo costs more than your childhood home), here’s what I’ve discovered about the art of self-reinvention and why pressing pause might just be the best way to press play again.

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The Power of the Pause: Why I Stopped Running on Empty

There’s a reason why most self-help books tell you to “take time for yourself” is because it works. I used to think that slowing down meant falling behind, that if I wasn’t constantly moving, I’d miss out. But after losing my brother, I realized I needed to hit pause…not just on love, but on the constant race to “keep up.” And it’s in that pause that I found space to actually listen to myself.

Taking time away from dating and focusing on healing wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. I poured my energy into my work, sure, but I also learned how to pour into myself. And while it might sound cliché, there’s nothing like waking up on a Saturday morning and realizing you don’t have to rush out the door for brunch plans you didn’t even want to make. Turns out, sometimes self-care is about giving yourself permission to just be.

The Secret to Working for Myself Before Working for Anyone Else

Here’s a little truth bomb I wish I’d known years ago: before I could work for someone else, I had to learn how to work for myself. And no, I don’t mean quitting my job and becoming a full-time influencer (though hey, if you’re into that, more power to you). I mean creating a routine that made me the priority, even if it was just for an hour or two each morning.

Before I head into the office (or, you know, shuffle from my bedroom to the home office in my favorite sweater dress), I make time for what matters to me. For me, that means starting my day with movement whether it’s a Peloton ride, yoga, or a quick strength session to remind myself that my body can do hard things. After that, I tend to my 20ish plants (and yes, they each have a name and a specific watering schedule). There’s just something grounding about seeing those little green guys thrive, even when I can’t keep track of my own laundry schedule.

And then there’s my morning ritual: a big cup of bone broth, my favorite music playing in the background, and a few deep breaths before I even think about checking my teams or slack. I promise you, the emails can wait. This little slice of “me time” has become my non-negotiable. It’s like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else, except the oxygen mask is actually a steaming cup of collagen-rich goodness that makes you feel like you can tackle the world or at least the latest Zoom meeting.

Little Acts of Self-Reinvention: The Not-So-Dramatic Truth

When people think about reinvention, they often picture a movie montage: quitting a toxic job, cutting off all your hair, and moving to Bali (okay, maybe that last one’s just me). But the truth is, most reinventions happen in the small moments; like deciding to walk to work instead of cramming into a packed subway car or learning how to make a bomb iced mocha at home instead of spending $7 every day at the trendy café down the street.

For me, it was about letting go of the idea that I had to be a certain version of “put together” to be worthy whether that meant in the eyes of a partner, my boss, or even my friends. I stopped trying to be everything to everyone, and I started focusing on what actually made me feel alive. Some days, that’s a killer presentation at work; other days, it’s eating sushi on my couch while binge-watching reality TV. Balance, right?

Creating Space for the Unexpected (Even When Life Forces the Pause)

Funny thing happens when life doesn’t go as planned – you end up discovering parts of yourself you hadn’t met yet. When I was laid off after Thanksgiving, it felt like everything I’d been building suddenly vanished overnight. But instead of rushing to fill the space with noise, I let it be quiet for a while.

And in that stillness, I started to breathe again. I reconnected with the things that make me me – watching my favourite sports teams play without guilt, writing just for the joy of it, making silly, creative content that reminded me not everything has to be so serious. I found excitement in small things again: nailing a new recipe, hitting a PR on the bike, spending a Monday doing absolutely nothing.

It wasn’t the kind of “unexpected” I’d have chosen, but it’s exactly what I needed. Because when everything familiar falls away, you’re left with a blank canvas and sometimes, that’s where the most authentic version of you begins to take shape.

Tangible Tips for Pressing Pause (Without Feeling Guilty)

Look, I get it—if you’re anything like me, the idea of slowing down can feel counterintuitive. But here are a few little ways to start:

• Start Your Day, Your Way: Even 10 minutes of stretching, journaling, or sipping your coffee or bobe broth in peace can set the tone for the day. Think of it as “me time” insurance.
• Unplug from the Hustle: It’s okay to let some texts sit unread or to watch a sunset without taking a picture. Trust me, Instagram will survive.
• Prioritize Joy: Remember when hobbies were just for fun, not side hustles? Bring that back! Whether it’s painting, reading, or making a slow and extravagant meal, find time for things that make you smile.
• Trust your gut: I’ve been drawn to a few serendipitous events and people over the past few weeks. For example, last week, I entered to participate in this incredible concept of having dinner with 8 strangers hosted by an incredible artist that I have admired for years, and I sat with all of these incredible women and we talked about life and love and our passions and I left feeling genuinely excited for what the universe has in store for me next.

At the end of the day reinventing yourself doesn’t always mean starting over it can just mean slowing down enough to appreciate where you are right now. For me, it was once about learning that I could be my own best company before inviting anyone else into my world. Today, it’s about rest and finding my purpose and passion in life again. It’s about knowing that your journey isn’t defined by how fast you get there, but by how fully you live along the way.

So, to all my fellow thirty-somethings navigating downtown life, busy careers, layoffs, and that elusive work-life balance: remember that it’s okay to hit pause.

Who knows? You might just find that the things you’ve been chasing have a way of finding you when you least expect it. And if not, well, there’s always another plant to adopt.

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What little daily rituals have helped you find your own version of “pause”? Drop a comment below, because we could all use some new self-care inspo!